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In its heyday, Playboy magazine was, for lack of a better phrase, a stroke of genius. It was hip. It was edgy. It was chock full of excellent writing. And then, of course, there were the women. The genius part of it was the fact that men could dazzle their fantasies with some of the finest and most naked women ever committed to the printed page, while getting up to speed on current pop culture, fashion and literature. Either way you looked at it, the non-naked stuff could actually compete for your attention. So much so that it became a regular occurrence to hear someone crack wise that he read Playboy just for the articles.
Why is all of this important? Well, ask yourself if you have ever watched a porn flick specifically for the non-sex parts? The chances are pretty high that you have not. What makes the fast-forward button such a brilliant invention is that it helps us get past the non-sex to get right to the sex. After all, that's why we watch porn, right? Well, until the release of Not the Cosbys XXX, this reviewer could have looked you straight in the eye and nodded in the affirmative. That has all changed now. Not only will you find yourself watching the non-sex stuff in this film, but you might find yourself looking forward to it.
The biggest reason is one Thomas Ward. He deservedly won the AVN award for a non-sex role playing the father and head of the household, Cliff Huxtable. If you haven't yet seen him in action as Bill Cosby, you will be stunned at the uncanny resemblance. Don't be surprised to find yourself staring at him for several minutes trying to convince yourself it is not the real Bill. Ward also sounds like him, moves like him and his comedic timing is right on point. Kudos to the writers for developing an excellent script that contains some very nice one-liners. Ward's jovial demeanor and his impeccable delivery are the reasons why you will watch from start to finish.
The plot surrounds the second oldest daughter Denise (Misty Stone). She is having a difficult time picking out a college. But, she is more concerned about starting college as a virgin. She suspects her current boyfriend, Malik (Dick James) is going to make the move on her and she needs some advice on how to handle it. She turns to her older sister Sondra (Cassidy Clay), but her prudish sister tells her to hold out. Denise is torn and very horny just thinking about Malik, and the supposedly all-girl slumber party where they are going to hook up later. She heads off to her room to contemplate things. Really, though, she just needs to get herself off. Misty is a real hottie, with smooth, milk chocolate skin and perfect little natural tits. She slips out of her panties and spreads her legs where you'll see her shaved pussy. She fingers herself, even pouring some lube onto her vag. Next, she flips over to show off her backside. With her ass pointed to the sky, she pats her clit with her fingertips and fondles her pretty asshole. After slipping a finger into her pussy, she grabs a nearby purple vibrator and fucks her pussy with deep strokes until she comes. Then, she slurps up her own juices to complete a very hot solo scene.
In the next scene Denise arrives at the slumber party. Unfortunately, Malik is already there and eyeing a threesome happening in the corner. He suggests that the two of them join in. Denise is appalled and leaves, keeping her 80s moral aptitude intact. After she leaves, the whole room goes orgy. Sarah Sloane (formerly Vandella) and Jaelyn Fox blow Malik's long black dick. Jenny Hendrix violates herself with a huge pink dildo. Exotic Lana Violet takes a huge white cock. Lana blows Malik. Sarah takes a white cock in her pussy. Jenny and Jaelyn busy themselves on each other's pussies. Excellent shot of Sarah on the floor, legs open, eating out Jenny Hendrix and licking her asshole. Malik creams onto Sarah's face and Jaelyn licks it up. Meanwhile, Lana takes the other load as Jenny looks on.
At home Denise is inconsolable. But, when brother Theo (Tyler Knight) hears about the party, he calls his buddy Cockroach (Tee Real) over. They are going to crash the sleepover. Tori Black greets them at the door and suggests they take their clothes off. Cockroach sneaks out with the others to go skinny dipping while Theo is left alone with Tori. She swallows his cock and rides it in RCG. They do some spoon style, interracial fucking and then he cums into her open mouth.
Those are just a few of the six excellent scenes. There are three more including a flashback fuck with mom Claire Huxtable (Monica Foster) when she goes with Denise to visit Hillman, her college of choice. Monica too is a hottie with a tight, dark body, nicely shaped tits, suckable nipples and toned ass. She sucks off some white cock and provides a nice view of her behind on all fours tasting her fantasy man's dick. Her dark meat also gets fucked in CG and RCG, her tight ass cheeks shuddering as she comes. To finish, she sucks him off to orgasm.
Later, Cockroach bangs Vanessa (Melody Nakai) on the couch after a rigged game of spin the bottle. Melody has nice plump tits and shapely ass. How the two don't wake Rudy (Nina Devon), who was sleeping upstairs, is anyone's guess.
Finally, we get to see Denise once again, only this time she is having her maiden, yet revenge fuck with some white dude named Patrick (Scott Lyons). His tongue knifes through her pink pussy lips, gorging on the sweet fruit inside. There is also a nice close-up of her glistening pussy getting penetrated in mish. Soon she is locked and loaded on top of his dick, riding it to orgasm. She sucks it and licks her juices off the tip and then spins around giving you an excellent shot of her open pussy grinding in RCG. He fucks her in doggie and sprays his cum into the back of her throat.
The film ends as do most situation comedies: with a moral lesson and a final joke. Of course, no joke is quite as funny without the laugh track supplying a good amount of pre-processed glee. There is plenty of that throughout to give it the real feel of a real prime-time television show.
NTC XXX is a bright spot in the growing wasteland of porn spoofs. It doesn't so much make a mockery of the original show as it does reinforce why it was so endearing. AVN Award-winning director Will Ryder has chosen to preserve the idyllic charm of a nuclear family growing up and growing old in the mid-80s where things were simpler and much more idealized. But his displaces them, airdropping their ideals and poor fashion sense right smack into the middle of 2009, where a harsher reality is the norm. So, while the Huxtable family grapples with topics like teen sex, it does so looking through 20-year-old lenses. It is this massive contrast in values between then and now that makes this movie so funny. If you are old enough to remember the 80s, seeing the fashion faux pas and the hairstyles will certainly make you laugh out loud, as will Thomas Ward. However, seeing the pleasant, happy-go-lucky demeanor of the family may make you a bit sad to see how much more cynical we've all become.
"Not the Cosbys XXX" was awarded this year's AVN award for Best Parody and for good reason. Be sure to watch it from start to finish – even the non-sex stuff. It's well worth it. Besides, your fast-forward button probably deserves a little "me time" after everything it has been through.
6 Scenes from Not The Cosbys XXX